I’m going to start writing about the highlights of 2012 instead of just dotting down point form notes in my drafts. This way I can recapture the feelings I had when I look back on these moments.
I woke up at 9am to go to the doctor because my mom is suspecting that I’m anemic. I got my blood pressure, it was 106/70 or something like that. The doc said it was normal for teenagers my age but he requested I should get a blood test to check if my iron’s normal. We went to this other clinic and they did that for me. The lady put this needle inside me and took a huge sample of my blood, but it was pretty cool. Anyway, I went home after that and my bestie, Michelle, came over early to hang.
I got ready because we were going to meet others for the night market. We happened to miss our bus and the next one came like 30 minutes later, so we decided to take some pictures of her, (she’s a camwhore) at Chimney hills which was like an elementary school. Then we finally met up April, Lauren, and Mark at Newton and left to go meet the rest at Surrey Central. Rheann, Joel, Mariah, Jen, Calvin and my brother were there and we all skytrained to metro. We got on the 410 to Richmond but we had no idea where to stop so it was like an adventure, haha. We walked to the night market and it was only 6:00pm so we had to wait. The team had to rehearse their routine because people were missing and they had to do without them. It was fun watching them squirm LOL.
Anywho we finally got inside the night market and we split up to do our own thing. April and I got this delicious mango special which was basically fresh mangos mixed with icecream and shaved ice. It was heavenly! We met up everyone after and looked around the sales. I really, really wanted these eyelashes but I didn’t want to waste money for the Philippines. I tried these twisted potatoes and I was hooked. They’re so yummy! At 7:40 we were watching everyone’s performance on stage and by 8:10ish or so, the team finally performed. Let me just say, no one cheered when they came on stage, which was quite rude if you asked me. But their performance was great so it doesn’t matter. After that, we went around to get some more food and I got coconut drink. Oh my god.. LOL. Then we met up with Michelle F. and we went to feed her. I got chow mein and devoured it. We had to meet up with Michelle’s parents so we only stayed for a little while. I got another twisted potato filled with korean spice for the ride home.
On the way home Michelle and I camwhored for the first time. For people who have been best friends for 9+ years, you’d think we did this stuff more but we haven’t so it was quite a memory! We got home and we did more camwhoring in her room because I was sleeping over. Spent some time talking about stuff, and then went to sleep! Even though I spent majority of the day eating, it was a pretty damn good day. Spent it with amazing people! :)
I was watching Hart of Dixie last night, because I’ve been trying to catch up. There was one episode that really got to me. It was about this person’s parents getting a divorce because the mom had feelings for another guy. The son tried to help them fix things, but his mom told him that the guy she loves is her true love. The son told her:
“True love is a fantasy. Sure you can fantasize about being with them and the happiness it’d bring, but this is reality. This is life, and Dad is real. You don’t always get what you want, and you just have to find a way to make it work with Dad.”
It was a new perspective. I don’t agree or disagree with it, but I realize now that I have no clue what true love is. It’s such a mystery.
“You think because he doesn’t love you that you are worthless. You think that because he doesn’t want you anymore that he is right — that his judgement and opinion of you are correct. If he throws you out, then you are garbage. You think he belongs to you because you want to belong to him. Don’t. It’s a bad word, ‘belong.’ Especially when you put it with somebody you love. Love shouldn’t be like that. Did you ever see the way the clouds love a mountain? They circle all around it; sometimes you can’t even see the mountain for the clouds. But you know what? You go up top and what do you see? His head. The clouds never cover the head. His head pokes through, beacuse the clouds let him; they don’t wrap him up. They let him keep his head up high, free, with nothing to hide him or bind him. You can’t own a human being. You can’t lose what you don’t own. Suppose you did own him. Could you really love somebody who was absolutely nobody without you? You really want somebody like that? Somebody who falls apart when you walk out the door? You don’t, do you? And neither does he. You’re turning over your whole life to him. Your whole life, girl. And if it means so little to you that you can just give it away, hand it to him, then why should it mean any more to him? He can’t value you more than you value yourself.”
—Toni Morrison
I was better off without you in my life.
at times like this, i just want to stop and take a deep breath. life has been so great lately, it’s overwhelming. i can’t even begin to describe how i’m feeling. it’s so surreal and for a minute, i just wanna pause and take it all in. inhale, exhale. a year ago i wouldn’t have imagined being in this position, but i’m glad i am. you know what they say “time heals all wounds”, well they’re wrong. wounds never heal, but they can be overlooked with the right attitude. it’s taken me this long to understand that. and now, i’m putting that mindset in every thing i do because there’s one thing that they’re right about— you only live once.
